Life in the Waiting
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This house is the biggest renovation project we've ever attempted as a family. I think of our apartment in Bozeman and all the work we did there. And of our most extensive RV remodel, The Minnie Winnie. Those were a lot of hard work, despite their tiny size.
Even with those, we powered through them in a week or two. An entire house? Now that's a different story! We are pluggin' away day by day...there so much to process and plan and decide.
For the past twenty years our house was a rental...the owner LOVED this place and took care of it from afar, but it was in need of major TLC and updating. I knew the moment we stepped in the door for the first time that we would be the ones to make it shine.
Knocking down walls, closing doorways, adding gas lines, moving electric lines...it all takes time time time. I am beyond thankful that Matt is so confident and skilled at everything that we need to accomplish.
We are getting closer and the end is in sight...but we've had some tough days lately. It's not all happy flags and sunshine around here. We're a normal family with struggles and trials...just like everyone else. It's certainly not easy living in 600 sq ft with 5 people and 2 dogs. But on the hard days, we are growing. We re-focus our energy and emotion to settle into a heart of gratitude.
I've been fighting against those thoughts that we all have in "the waiting". That life will begin when such and such happens. When the house is all done...I can start doing this or that. And to some extent...it's true. A host of options will open up for us after it's done. But I don't want to live in constant WAITING. And wanting. I want to live in the NOW. I know that is what Jesus wants for me as well. Life to the fullest!
I've been reading Shauna Niequiest's book, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life...and it speaks right to my heart during this time ( bolded my favorite part):
"...believe that this way of living, this focus on the present, the daily, the tangible, this intense concentration not on the news headlines but on the flowers growing in your own garden, the children growing in your own home, this way of living has the potential to open up the heavens, to yield a glittering handful of diamonds where a second ago there was coal. This way of living and noticing and building and crafting can crack through the movie sets and soundtracks that keep us waiting for our own life stories to begin, and set us free to observe the lives we have been creating all along without ever realizing it. I don’t want to wait anymore.
I choose to believe that there is nothing more sacred or profound than this day. I choose to believe that there may be a thousand big moments embedded in this day, waiting to be discovered like tiny shards of gold. The big moments are the daily, tiny moments of courage and forgiveness and hope that we grab on to and extend to one another. That’s the drama of life, swirling all around us, and generally I don’t even see it, because I’m too busy waiting to become whatever it is I think I am about to become. The big moments are in every hour, every conversation, every meal, every meeting."
All kinds of goodness in that book. And her other books. Check them out!
And so...I start this day with fresh perspective on life and "the waiting". I will see every moment as sacred, even in the hardest moments where life feels like it's spinning around me, because they are part of my story too.
Are you in a time of waiting?
What truth have you discovered?
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